Americans are opening up to their sex lives more than ever, but according to experts, there are some shovels that should not leave the bedroom.
You and your partner have had the best sex you have had in years (applause!), And now you can not help but want to share your good news. Do you call your best friend for a quick session, send an email to some of your closest friends or update your Facebook status (“Attention, America: we still understand it!”)?
In today’s world driven by social networks, it can be tempting to share the details of juice with your inner circle. But when it comes to your sexuality, there is some information that you must keep.
The next thing is Two and do not talk about your sex life.
Let’s Not Talk About Sex: When You Keep Your Lips Closed.
Do not post your sex clips online. The golden rule of talking about sex? According to Dana Fillmore, PsyD, a psychologist in Del Mar, California, who specializes in marriage, keeps her away from social networks. When you share intimate details online, you risk losing the trust and closeness of your partner as a couple.
However, a recent survey conducted by Trojan for the condom industry revealed that 10 percent of respondents spoke of sex on Facebook or Twitter. Judy Kuriansky, a doctor in clinical psychology and sex therapist and author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to a Healthy Relationship, says that Twitter about a sexual date is “full of all kinds of potential problems.” No one can see what you just posted, these dirty details remain there in cyberspace for a long time (even after the separation).
Do not talk about sex to the office. You may think it is okay to give your colleagues an innocent comment about your sex life, but the workplace is not a place for sexual conversation. Because Koriansky says that things can easily be misinterpreted and that he may have problems with his boss, colleagues or company policies.
By phone with a friend in your office? Leave conversations about sex when you get home (or at least away from anyone else). You never know who can listen to you and repeat what you have heard from the wrong people.
Do not pour beans on anyone. It is perfectly good to trust a friend in what is happening in your bedroom, but you may want to make sure that the gossip of the city is not gossip in the city. “If Willie Nelly puts all your sexual complaints on someone, you open the door to all kinds of babbling,” Kurianski said. Enjoy your most trusted friends only.
Do not start sex online. According to the same Trojan survey, 18 percent of respondents said they had had sex with someone they met online. The “dirty conversation” with someone you know in a chat room can seem pretty safe: it’s on your computer or smartphone and not personally. But in fact, anything else can be, warns Kuriansky. He has no way of knowing who he is talking to or if what he hears is true. For your safety, do not take advantage of online sex.
Let’s Talk About Sex: When It’s Okay For Gab
Trust a trusted friend. Whether you want to brag or lose your sex life, BFF can be a great person to become. But before opening to someone other than your partner, Koriansky decided. Ask your friend not to repeat what you tell anyone else. Tell him you trust him just because you know you can trust her. If you have any questions, stay up to date.
Get your partner well first. “If you want to talk about the hayloft from the night before with a friend, it’s good that you erase it first with your partner,” says Fillmore. “Many men feel uncomfortable talking about their sexuality with others,” she says. If it allows you to move forward, try to reduce negative conversations: dogs for their sex life with their friends can damage their relationship.
Tell your partner what you are doing (and stop). If there is something in your sex life that bothers you, this is the only person you should say: your partner. “Couples often swell what bothers them in bed and expect their partner to know what they think and what they like or dislike,” says Kurianski. Keep silence about your unmet needs and create resentment. (And do not forget to tell him what you like, too!).
Are you trained in difficult subjects? Do you have a thorny issue to play with your partner (like STD or a new job you want to try?). Practice makes perfect, says Kuriansky. Say it silently or out loud to yourself. “You want to correct it correctly so it does not explode,” she says. Think about how your partner can explain what you are saying and then try to find words that clearly illustrate your point of view.
Do not talk to a sex therapist. “If something in your sex life bothers you for a while, you should stop consulting a sex therapist,” says Kurianski. Sex therapists are specially trained in a variety of problems that arise in relationships, be it sexual function or improving their sex life or intimacy. You can go alone or experience therapy with your partner.
Sex therapy does not always mean months on the couch. “You and your partner can solve the problem through a brief consultation that includes some visits,” says Koriansky. Remember that finding a therapist who is comfortable with him is crucial.